Losing is hard to do

Well apparently I feel the need to blog twice a year lol, at least one random time when something has irked me enough to share my opinion with the world and once around the anniversary of daddy's death. So we're at that time of year again. While people have def irked me lately, this is about the latter of the 2. Thursday will be 8 years since dad passed. Wow! 8 years... doesn't feel like 8 years.

They say things get easier with time and I'll I think that's partially right it's most def partially wrong too. Daily life does get easier, it has to. What other option does one really have in this situation? I mean sure you can dwell on it and let it rule your life or you can suck it up and move on with your life and start new without the people you love. So day to day life gets easier. Anniversaries... not so much.

It never fails about March 20th every year my mood is instantly changed. For a few days I go on asking myself why i'm so whiny or easily upset then it dawns on me. OMG it's March again... oh ok it's depression week GREEEEAATTT!  It's not just me either, it subconsciously happens to my mom I think too.

Speaking of my mom. I always wonder how she's really doing. I mean, I know how i'm doing and it's just my dad, I can't imagine how she feels. If I lost David omg i dont even know or want to think of how I'd feel. I guess she's probably like the rest of us and just has to suck it up and go on with her life but damn man. Sometimes I think I want to ask her but I'm just not strong enough to bc I can't fix it for her and that drives me nuts. I will say that one thing good that has come from this awful situation the 3 of us have to live is my relationship with my mom. It wasn't easy at first that's for sure. Bria played mediator on several occasions but after a bit of healing and growing up on my part, my relationship with my mom is amazing. She and my sister are def my best friends! This tragic event brought my family so much closer and for that i'm thankful. I guess it's true there is joy in every tragedy.

I really had no point to this blog today. I just had random thoughts about the upcoming anniversary I needed to get out without someone else comparing their situation to mine or throwing me a pity party. I dont want that. I just want to get it all out. Thank goodness for the interwebs lol.

I miss my dad like crazy but I know he's in a better place and is def watching over me. Here's to another year learning to live without him.

                                                                      RIP DADDY

10/23/65 - 3/29/04